I’m moving at the end of December. I’m hoping to move at the end of December. Most people sit there in their shitty little downs, day dreaming for the opportunity that seems so close to me closing my fingers around. I’ve always suffered from a longing to be somewhere else, to experience more, to better myself.

This time last year, I was in Rome, Italy. That was well over 4,000 miles.

I’m so tired of people telling me I won’t make it. In a way, yeah its good that everyone is batting against the underdog… it gives me more drive to jump in face first and really fight hard to swim instead of sink. But at the same time, who are you to sit here and tell me I can’t do something? What have you done with your life? What are you accomplishing? Oh… that’s right, I forgot. You go to a second hand community college (although, nothing wrong with that… as I currently attend the same second hand college.) But, you plan to graduate from there with a basic degree… once again, nothing wrong with that. But why are you trying to dampen my dreams instead of encouraging them? Do you know how many people move away from Paintsville, Kentucky to make something of themselves and return home a year later because they partied too much and got kicked out of college or they went off and got addicted to pills? 

My ex boyfriend told me I’d never make it as a Veterinarian… really? What do you have to show for yourself right now? You’re going to be twenty three in July, you are not married but currently have a daughter that will be a year old in October and you work in the coal industry. Not trying to hate, but really who the fuck are you to judge anyone after all the mistakes you made?

My other ex boyfriend said that I was just saying I was going to move to make him feel bad. Look, after the way you handled our relationship I’m pretty sure there is nothing I could say or do, besides me dying, that would make you feel bad. If I was trying to make you feel bad, why would I have just taken a second job to make more money? I already work eighty hours every two weeks. No, I’m doing this because I want too. You’re just to small minded to chase your dreams or anything that you really want. You are lazy and cold hearted. You have some of the most comparable qualities to acid. You melt/destroy/burn everything you touch. As you put it, you are cursed. Besides, that’s not the point I’m trying to make. The point I’m trying to make is: success is the best revenge. 

My heart is in Oregon. And I can only try my best and keep my fingers crossed.